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It had been so long since I had been intimate with a real man and I couldn’t help but envision myself between his knees, clinging to him like King Kong did the Empire state building and feeling him moan as I worked both sets of my chocolate lips around his vanilla form. I spent many an evening in the shower imagining that my soft hands that played and probed between my slick swollen lips were his and that the orgasms that the steady flow of the water created would be results of his tongue sucking profusely on my clit. I doubted that he would ever notice me, I was so used to being in the shadow of my girlfriends that everyone seemed to fancy and he wouldn’t even talk to me most days. The dreams that impaired my sleep at night didn’t help either. They felt so real. Too real. I felt like the dirtiest slut waking up every morning with panties soaked from the imaginary fucking in every position and place that I would get 3 or 4 nights in a week. If this was what he did to me in my dreams. Of everyone we knew, I thought Alistair might understand what I was going through the most; his parents had loved him and yet not been around either, and he had only someone else’s word for it. When we get back to Ferelden, I’m going to find someone to track down his mother if it’s the last thing I do.We sat together until suppertime, cuddling and reading each other snippets from the journal. There were a few tears and a lot of laughs, and all of it was bearable with Alistair holding me like he’d never let go. Avanna finally came crashing through the underbrush – extra loudly and slowly, which made Alistair and I both start laughing uproariously – to inform us that if we wanted to meet Aedan and Zevran for dinner, we needed to get moving.Getting out of the hammock turned out to be harder to do than getting in, when you were sideways; after several near misses with the ground below us, Avanna ended up having to pull me up while Alistair pushed, and it took both Avanna and me working.
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